**DISCLAIMER** Content of this post is only 14% serious
I love watching the Olympics. There's something for everybody. Even people who don't generally like watching sports. By far, my favorite event to watch is men's gymnastics. (And no, not just because there are men in tight spandex). Don't get me wrong, women's gymnastics is pretty awesome, but there is a difference between men's and women's athleticism. (Sorry feminists, but we are different).
Well, since the Olympics have not actually started, I have been spending random amounts of time watching the trials. And since I am from the United States, I have only been paying attention to the USA men's gymnastics Olympic trials... to be specific.
And yes, I have found a man to put my money on. (Figuratively of course, I don't gamble, and I don't really have money). Jake Dalton. Not only are his biceps huge, and his skills impressive (to someone who doesn't know anything about gymnastics aside from "ooohhh a flip and he didn't break his neck!") but, he is a cutie.
Forgive me for my shallowness!
This being said, what any 20 year old woman with all her dignity would do, I immediately consulted my friend to discuss. And this is what we decided:
We both love to kayak, although admittedly, neither of us have a kayak nor the means to transport one if we had the money to buy one.
The Double Person Kayak Race
Since this is not a real race. Because this race is so new, there is no official trial to determine teams for each country, rather a intense feat of Olympic proportions is necessary to prove your awesomeness and worthiness to compete.
Because we are from Boston, have no sponsors for this completely legitimate event, and this year's games are in London, to prove our worthiness, we shall kayak across the Atlantic Ocean! (Begin playing intense music). Oh Yes! Prepare to hear about us in the news and everything! Don't worry, we are prepared. Lots of protein bars and, naturally, we have a pocket water distiller that will let us turn sea water into drinkable fresh water! Better yet, reverse osmosis anyone?
Also, since we are the only people in this event, we are pretty much guaranteed a Gold Medal. No big deal. Bring on the sponsorships!
Oh yeah, back to the point-- Jake Dalton. When we receive our Gold Medals, he won't have a choice but to think we are nothing less than the coolest people ever. Then we live happily ever after.
Because we are from Boston, have no sponsors for this completely legitimate event, and this year's games are in London, to prove our worthiness, we shall kayak across the Atlantic Ocean! (Begin playing intense music). Oh Yes! Prepare to hear about us in the news and everything! Don't worry, we are prepared. Lots of protein bars and, naturally, we have a pocket water distiller that will let us turn sea water into drinkable fresh water! Better yet, reverse osmosis anyone?
Also, since we are the only people in this event, we are pretty much guaranteed a Gold Medal. No big deal. Bring on the sponsorships!
Oh yeah, back to the point-- Jake Dalton. When we receive our Gold Medals, he won't have a choice but to think we are nothing less than the coolest people ever. Then we live happily ever after.
OLYMPICS 2012- Leggo!
Cause it's the bestest plan that anyone could have, it's the bestest plan that anyone could have, it's the bestest plan that anyone could have, and we'll never ever ever ever ever leave each other (....cause then we wouldn't be in the two-person kayak event...and because I love you for making this!)
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