I am sorry.
I am sorry that we have fallen apart in the past few years. It wasn't your fault. I take full blame. I went to college, you know? I joined new clubs and got a few jobs. I played a lot of pick up freshman year, you probably thought I would never give you up. I mean, I didn't think I was going to either. Funny how things don't always turn out the way we were expecting.
I'm a junior now. I played some intramurals this year... but it wasn't serious We had maybe 4 games. My heart wasn't there though. I was just going through the motions: dribble, pass, box out, lay up. I am sorry I let myself fall so far away.
I had a reality check this past week. I was in the stands, watching you. And you know what? I was jealous. I had stopped trying to play, and yet I had the audacity to be jealous of those players. Not because of the fan count (though ENC represent!). You remember those high school games? We had maybe 5 parents (15 on a good day) in the stands (M-what? MV) and we still played our hearts out. No it's not the fans, it's you.
It was the competition and the heart, the bruises and the sweat, the strategy and vision. The one time I got poked in the eye but hit the shot and everyone thought my eye was bleeding. The one time I was afraid of playing varsity, so I made a bigger deal about my back pain than was true. We've been through a lot.
I think of the love letter Michael Jordan wrote you. I remember reading it in high school, and thinking, "Yes. Basketball, you truly are fantastic." I thought about playing college ball. I got scared though. I didn't think I was good enough, and was afraid to try... and this is where it has gotten us.
I'm sorry Basketball, and I'm sorry Delilah. We will make amends.
Thank you ENC Basketball for reminding me.
Much Love x14,
Mega Leg
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